Forholdsråd fra 5 fyre på en fertilitetsrejse

ExSeed Rådgivning om forhold til fertilitetsrejse
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Valentine’s Day is a time to put your relationship front and centre – but if you’re having a tough fertility journey, that might be easier said than done. No one knows the challenges that come with fertility issues better than our community, so we’ve rounded up the best relationship advice from five guys who know exactly what you’re going through.

 

Ciaran Hannington – Fertility Health & Fitness Coach

One of the biggest challenges of any fertility journey is dealing with the unknown. It’s incredibly difficult to deal with any situation you have little to no control over. All fertility journeys are challenging and some are more difficult than others. I distinctly remember the emotional stress and heartache each failed cycle had on me and my wife. These emotions and stress put extreme pressure on our relationship, which was partly our own fault. Until you experience the ‘fertility rollercoaster’, you don’t know how you will feel, you don’t know what will happen and you don’t know how your relationship will cope.

My advice to couples facing the challenges of a fertility journey is to talk and be honest with each other, don’t be afraid to say you are struggling – and even if your partner doesn’t say it, look out for the signs that they might be too.
Make time for each other, and do the things you used to do before the worries of fertility came along. Go out for dinner, book a spontaneous trip away or whatever else that might make you smile. One of the biggest things I learnt was that it’s okay not to know what to do all the time, it’s ok to not know what to say. Sometimes a simple hug is all it takes to say ‘I’m here.’

Russell Davies – Fertility Mindset Coach

During our fertility journey, my wife said she felt lonely. Our biggest challenge was that I lived in my head. She knew what I thought but not how I felt about things. I was very disconnected from my feelings. I also thought I had to be the strong one for her, but it was not what she wanted. Women want to feel emotionally connected to their men, and that’s what was lacking for us at that time.

My advice would be for men facing a tough fertility journey is to learn to get comfortable with emotions. Learning to express how they feel, not what they think, and also to hold space for their partner’s emotion without trying to fix it or taking it personally – whilst keeping your heart open. Emotional understanding is the glue in a relationship. It helps a couple feel united and a team, whatever is going on in life. A book I often recommend is The Way of The Superior Man by David Deida.

Alex – Pursuing Fatherhood

Grieving infertility as a couple is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced. It feels like an impossible task to overcome your own pain while also supporting your partner through theirs. I also felt a massive sense of guilt, seeing my wife going through such heartache, and feeling like it was my fault.
Communication is key to working through infertility grief. Just expressing the emotions of it all, and being able to sort through them together. I process emotions more internally, but opening up with a therapist and each other really helped us to connect and feel more peace about our situation. We finally started to believe that, even if we were never able to become parents, we would still be ok because we had each other.

Shaun Greenaway – Knackered Knackers

Lack of communication was our biggest problem during our fertility journey. I went inside myself, I wasn’t talking and I was struggling with who I was as a man and even though my wife was there too. I was pushing her away, going insular and that lack of communication is not good for any relationship.
My advice to anyone going through the same thing is to communicate. Don’t shut your other half out, as they are going through it with you and are in just as much pain as you are – regardless of who is dealing with infertility itself. When we started to communicate properly and started to deal with it as a team, that’s what started to shortcut our road to healing.
Also remember to still do the things you love together, don’t let infertility dictate your life. Fill your relationship cup because you need that mental break from it and it brings you closer together. Be that partnership and try to live your life to the full. As hard as it may seem – there are still smiles, laughter and love to be had.

Ian Stones – Director of TestHim

When I support couples through their fertility journey, some of the biggest relationship challenges I see are around pressure, time and communication. There are external pressures, work pressures, time pressures as well as bedroom and relationship pressures. Often I see that the woman typically takes on a lot of the research to ensure she’s doing all she can. On the other side, the man ends up worrying about his partner and the finances of treatment, as well as feeling the need to stay strong, which can mean he finds it hard to share his feelings.
Communication is key to overcoming these challenges. Make sure you talk to each other – and that’s especially important if you’re a man. Trying to stay strong and avoid talking about your emotions just makes it harder for your partner. Making a baby is a joint venture so try to research and share things together – don’t leave it all up to one person,
It’s also important to make sure you find time for each other that isn’t about fertility. Have some date nights, find a hobby you can enjoy together but equally find something you can each do to let off steam. If you’re really struggling, couples counselling or individual counselling can be an absolute godsend.

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Undersøgelser viser, at mænd, der bærer løsere undertøj, har en højere sædkoncentration og et højere samlet antal sædceller sammenlignet med mænd, der bærer strammere undertøj. Så smid det stramme tøj og tag noget løst tøj på for at give dine testikler lidt luft.

KONKLUSION: Få mere at vide om, hvordan varme kan påvirke sædkvaliteten her.

Stress

Ud over en højere dødelighed og forskellige sygdomme er stress forbundet med lav sædkvalitet. Stress er kendt for at være forbundet med lavere testosteronniveauer og oxidativ stress, der begge spiller en vigtig rolle i produktionen og opretholdelsen af sunde sædceller.

KONKLUSION: Hvis du føler dig stresset, anbefaler vi, at du får hjælp, så du kan få et afbalanceret mentalt helbred. Du kan downloade en vejledning i stresshåndtering i ExSeed-appen gratis, og start din personlige handlingsplan i dag.

Fysisk aktivitet

Videnskabelige undersøgelser viser, at mænd, der er fysisk aktive, har bedre sædparametre end mænd, der er inaktive. Fertilitetsspecialister siger også, at regelmæssig fysisk aktivitet har en gavnlig indvirkning på sædets fertilitetsparametre, og at en sådan livsstil kan forbedre mænds fertilitetsstatus.

Hvis du prioriterer motion, kan du forbedre dit generelle helbred og få sunde, hurtigt svømmende sædceller, der har gode chancer for at befrugte et æg.

KONKLUSION: Prøv at indarbejde motion i din ugentlige planlægning, så du sikrer, at du træner mindst to gange om ugen. Vi anbefaler en kombination af konditionstræning og styrketræning. Læs mere om motion og mandlig fertilitet på vores blog.

Ernæring

Fastfood
Forarbejdede fødevarer skader sædproducerende cellers sundhed og forårsager oxidativ stress, hvilket fører til dårligere sædkvalitet. Et stort forbrug af junkfood (hver uge) kan øge sandsynligheden for infertilitet, da mænd, der indtager store mængder usund mad, er i risiko for at få dårlig sædkvalitet. Ud over at skade din frugtbarhed øger junkfood din talje, skader dit hjerte-kar-system, dine nyrer og meget mere.

Grøntsager
Hvis du spiser mere frugt og grøntsager, kan du øge din sædkoncentration og motilitet. Det er vigtigt, at du spiser en sund kost fyldt med antioxidanter, og at du spiser grøntsager hver dag. Fødevarer som abrikoser og røde peberfrugter har et højt indhold af A-vitamin, som forbedrer mænds fertilitet ved at nære sundere sædceller. Mænd, der har mangel på dette vitamin, har tendens til at have langsomme og sløve sædceller.

Sukkerholdige snacks/drikkevarer: flere gange om ugen Overdreven indtagelse af sukkerholdige produkter kan føre til oxidativt stress, hvilket har en negativ indvirkning på testosteronniveauet og sædmotiliteten. Sukkerholdige snacks og drikkevarer er også i høj grad forbundet med fedme og lav frugtbarhed.
KONKLUSION: For at øge sædkvaliteten skal du holde dig fra fastfood, forarbejdede fødevarer og sukkerholdige snacks eller drikkevarer. Du skal implementere en sund og fornuftig kost fyldt med de nødvendige superfoods, der er nødvendige for en god sædproduktion. Tjek vores guide til Superfoods til mandlig fertilitet. Til personlig vejledning og støtte til, hvordan du kan begynde at forbedre din sædkvalitet, kan du tjekke den Bootcamp.

Varme

Direkte varme kan hæmme optimal sædproduktion og forårsage DNA-skader på sædceller. Sædceller kan lide omgivelser, der er et par grader lavere end kropstemperaturen. Undgå overophedning fra varme tæpper, sædevarmere, varme fra din bærbare computer, varme brusere og saunaer.

Cigaretrøgning

Eksponering for tobaksrøg har betydelige negative virkninger på sædkvaliteten. Skaden af cigaretter og nikotin afhænger naturligvis af, hvor mange cigaretter du ryger om dagen og hvor længe, men selv et lavt forbrug (op til 10 cigaretter/dag) kan hæmme en sund sædproduktion.  

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Mobiltelefon

Når du har din mobiltelefon i din forlomme, udsættes dine testikler for elektromagnetisk stråling, som undersøgelser har vist, at den skader sædcellerne. Læg din telefon i baglommen på dine bukser eller i din jakkelomme.

BMI

Der er en klar sammenhæng mellem fedme og nedsat sædkvalitet. Dette skyldes i det mindste til dels, at overvægtige mænd kan have unormale reproduktive hormonprofiler, hvilket kan forringe sædproduktionen og føre til infertilitet. 

Et BMI på over 30 kan føre til flere processer i kroppen (overophedning, stigning i oxidativ stress i testiklerne, DNA-skader på sædcellerne, erektil dysfunktion), som kan have en negativ indvirkning på mandens fertilitet. Dette kan resultere i problemer, når man forsøger at blive gravid.  

KONKLUSION: BMI er en af de risikofaktorer, der påvirker sædkvaliteten og f.eks. sædmotiliteten.  

Alkohol

En øl eller et glas vin i ny og næ skader ikke rigtig sædkvaliteten. Men overdreven alkoholindtagelse (mere end 20 enheder om ugen) kan reducere produktionen af normalt dannede sædceller, som er nødvendige for en vellykket graviditet.

KONKLUSION: Hvis du vil være sikker, skal du holde dig under 14 enheder alkohol om ugen. Du kan få flere oplysninger om, hvordan alkohol kan påvirke mænds fertilitet, ved at se vores blog: "Alkohol og sædkvalitet".

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