How to support your partner this Mother’s Day 

How To Support Your Partner This Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day can be tough for women on a fertility journey. Are you struggling to know how best to support your female partner through this difficult weekend? Here are a few of our suggestions… 

Get out in nature together 

Mother’s Day – and every day – can come with a bunch of triggers that your partner might find tough to deal with if motherhood still feels out of reach. It might be tempting to just act like it’s not happening – no one likes to mention the elephant in the room, right? – but the fact is, it’s kind of unavoidable. 

Everywhere from our inboxes, to our social media feeds, our local shops to favourite restaurants are hammering home the holiday. If you’ve been trying for a while, your partner was probably hoping that she would be receiving the gifts and well wishes today – so it’s important to offer her a lifeline. 

Firstly, open up the conversation – what would she like to do when the day arrives? Some women might be happy to treat it like any normal Sunday, but your partner might be grateful for some love, attention and distraction. If she does want to do something, play an active role in suggesting activities that could take her mind off things and make her feel special. Getting outside in nature is a really good thing to do. Not only will it keep you both away from social media and technology, but it is also great for your physical and mental wellbeing. 

Create space for deep and meaningful 

Whilst distractions are great, it’s important to remember that ‘taking her mind off things’ might not always be what your partner needs.

Whilst there is a lot of support out there for women struggling with infertility, the truth is that some women find it very difficult to talk about their experience with others. The shame that surrounds infertility means that you might be the only person they feel comfortable opening up to – so make sure she knows that you are there for her. 

Men can often shy away from these conversations, but it’s your job to create a space where she feels like she can be totally honest about her fears and feelings. Create a calming, distraction-free environment where you can connect and make sure to ask questions like that encourage emotional conversation like…

“Is there anything you’re feeling that you’ve been too afraid to share?”

“Are you doing ok or is it getting too much?”

“When do you find it the hardest?”

“Is there anything I could do to support you more?”

It can also be really helpful for you to share how you’re feeling too. The two of you are in this together and showing a bit of vulnerability can show her it’s ok for her to do the same! 

Have her back 

A great way to show how much you care about someone is by actively demonstrating that you have their back. As partners, you should always be in each other’s corner – and sometimes on a fertility journey, that means setting boundaries with others. 

Anyone trying for a baby knows that well-meaning (but often annoying) questions can come from all directions. Whilst these questions can be aimed at anyone, let’s face it – the vast majority get directed at our female partners. From probing enquiries as to when grandchildren will come along, to advice on which supplements to take, interacting with friends and family can be a bit of an emotional minefield when you’re on a fertility journey. 

If this is happening, make sure that you are advocating for your partner when she needs it. It can be emotionally exhausting to field these questions and suggestions, so stepping in and protecting her can mean a lot. If your family is getting too personal, be the one to pull them to one side and lay down some ground rules. If you’re invited to an event that your partner doesn’t want to go to (from baby showers, to christenings) take some of the weight off her shoulders and offer to decline on your behalf.   

Get proactive 

Sometimes actions speak louder than words. If you have been trying for a while and your female partner has been the one running the show, give the gift of being proactive this Mother’s Day. 

By taking control of your own fertility, you’re showing her that this truly is a team effort and that you are in this together. Do some research into how to improve your fertility, invest in some supplements, or take the step of getting your sperm tested, if you haven’t already. 

Aside from your fertility, taking care of your mental wellbeing is another active step in being the best partner you could be. You can’t be there for your partner this Mother’s Day if you are struggling in silence yourself. There are some amazing communities of men that you can join including Knackered Knackers to HIM Fertility. These groups of like-minded guys can give you advice on all things fertility, relationships and mental health – and we’d highly recommend them! 

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Wearing tight pants and underwear

Studies show that men who wear looser underwear have higher sperm concentration and total sperm count compared to men who wear tighter underwear. So, lose the tight clothes and wear something loose to give your testicles some air.

CONCLUSION: learn more about how heat can affect sperm quality here.


Besides higher mortality rate and various diseases, stress is associated with low sperm quality. Stress is known to be associated with lower testosterone levels and oxidative stress with both playing an essential role in producing and maintaining healthy sperm cells.

CONCLUSION: If you feel stressed, we recommend you get some help so you can have a balanced mental health. For a stress management guide, download the ExSeed app for free and start your personalized action plan today.

Physical activity

Scientific studies show that men who are physically active have better semen parameters than men who are inactive. Fertility specialists also state that regular physical activity has beneficial impact on sperm fertility parameters and such a lifestyle can enhance the fertility status of men.

Prioritizing exercise can help improve your overall health and result in healthy, fast swimming sperm cells that have good chances of fertilizing an egg.

CONCLUSION: Try incorporating exercise in your weekly schedule to you ensure exercising at least twice weekly. We recommend a combination of cardio training and strength exercise. Read more about exercise and male fertility on our blog.


Fast Food
Processed foods damage the health of sperm-producing cells and cause oxidative stress, which lead to poorer sperm quality. Heavy consumption of junk food (every week) can increase the likelihood of infertility since men who consume vast amounts of unhealthy food are at risk of having poor sperm quality. Besides harming your fertility, junk food enlarges your waistline, harms your cardiovascular system, kidneys, and more.

Eating more fruit and vegetables can increase your sperm concentration and motility. It’s important that you consume a healthy diet filled with antioxidants and that you eat vegetables every day. Foods such as apricots and red bell peppers are high in vitamin A, which improves male fertility by nurturing healthier sperm. Men who are deficient in this vitamin tend to have slow and sluggish sperm.

Sugary snacks/beverages: several times a week Excessive consumption of high sugar items can lead to oxidative stress, which negatively impacts testosterone levels and sperm motility. Sugary snacks and beverages are also highly associated with obesity and low fertility.
CONCLUSION: To boost sperm quality, stay away from fast food, processed food, and sugary snacks or beverages. You need to implement a healthy prudent diet filled with necessary superfoods needed for good sperm production. Check out our guide to Male Fertility Superfoods. For personalized guidance and support on how you can start improving your sperm health, check out the Bootcamp.


Direct heat can inhibit optimal sperm production and cause Sperm DNA damage. Sperm cells like environments that are a couple of degrees lower than body temperature. Avoid overheating from warm blankets, seat warmers, heat from your laptop, hot showers, and saunas.

Cigarette smoking

The exposure to tobacco smoke has significant negative effects on semen quality. The damage of cigarettes and nicotine of course depends on how many cigarettes you smoke per day and for how long, but even low usage (up to 10 cigarettes / day) can inhibit healthy sperm production.  

CONCLUSION: Stay as far away from cigarette smoking as possible if you care about your general health and your fertility. Read more here.

Cell phone

When you have your cell phone in your front pocket, your testicles are exposed to electromagnetic radiation, which studies have shown to damage the sperm cells. Put your phone in the back pocket of your pants or in your jacket pocket.


There is a clear association between obesity and reduced sperm quality. At least part of the reason for this is that obese men may have abnormal reproductive hormonal profiles, which can impair sperm production and lead to infertility. 

A BMI higher than 30 can lead to several processes in the body (overheating, increase in oxidative stress in the testes, sperm DNA damage, erectile dysfunction) that can have a negative impact on male fertility. This can result in problems when trying to conceive.  

CONCLUSION: BMI is one of the risk factors that influence semen quality and, for example, sperm motility.  


A beer or glass of wine now and then do not really harm sperm quality. But excess alcohol drinking (more than 20 units per week) can reduce the production of normally formed sperm needed for a successful pregnancy.

CONCLUSION: If you want to stay safe, stay under 14 units of alcohol per week. For more information on how alcohol can affect male fertility, take a look at our blog: “Alcohol and Sperm Quality”.


Studies show that women younger than 35 and men younger than 40 have a better chance of getting pregnant. Men can produce sperm cells almost through their entire life, but the sperm cell DNA is more fragile and prone to damage after the age of 40.

As men age, their testes tend to get smaller and softer resulting in a decline in sperm quality and production. These changes are partly because of an age-related decrease in testosterone level, which plays a very important role in sperm

production. Higher male age (>40 years) is not only associated with a decline in sperm production but also with increased sperm DNA fragmentation and worsened morphology (shape) and motility (movement). These negative effects make the sperm cells less qualified for egg fertilization.

CONCLUSION: with an age under 40, you shouldn’t have to worry much about age as a factor in itself. However, studies have shown a slow decline after the age of 30-35 years

and if you are above 40 years of age, your sperm quality can be affected due to increased sperm DNA damage resulting in a decrease of sperm motility and concentration. Remember that you cannot evaluate the quality of a sperm sample by just looking at it – this requires a sperm analysis.