Erik & Phillippa: Our Story of Infertility
On paper, we are a couple in the early 30’s who has it all. We have good jobs, a nice 250 m2 house with children’s section, two cars, a nice family and a lot of good friends…
Erik became a branch director in a bank just before he turned 30. I am a trained journalist and work as a live reporter. In the winter of 2018, I spent exploring my first chef position in the production industry.
The many years of education and hard work have seriously kicked off our career. Along the way, we have been each other’s favorite sparring partners, best friends, and intimately – well, let’s just say it has never failed – at least not before the fertility treatment journey began. We met each other at a local club in Vordingborg 8 years ago. Erik tried a little half-heartedly to sell his body to the highest bidder before the transfer window closed a little to five in the morning. His compelling pout did not impress at that time. But there was something about him anyway. So, therefore, he got a counter offer to invite me on a real date. Subsequently, one thing led to another. We moved together in Copenhagen in 2013, worked, finished education, broke up and reunited – a couple of times. (Many times, if you ask our friends)
One day in 2016 Erik surprised with the most beautiful ring and perhaps the craziest proposal in history. He went to his knees a little to five – though in the afternoon – on the same dance floor where he got his first rejection. It was wacky and absolutely perfect at the same time, and this time he was bought on the spot.
In 2017, we held our dream wedding with 90 of our best family members and friends. So the frames were in place. We had surrounded us with good people and prerequisites for the next chapter: Children.
But like all good fairy tales, there are many twists and turns before the happy ending.
We had actually started the baby-project when I got off birth control pills in 2015. But nothing happened for months. There was plenty of sex. And really good sex. The happiness in the bedroom is basically when you trust each other so much that you dare to completely be yourself. And we dare to do that. Therefore, it was also a big disappointment when half a year of fantastic sex had gone by without resulting in a pregnancy.
After 6 months of actively trying to conceive but without success, we went to see a professional. The doctor told us. “Typically career people. You decide that now you want to be pregnant because it fits into your calendar. And then you come running here when you have not become pregnant within the first few months. But this Is not the way things work. You cannot plan a child. Go back home and try, and then come back when at least a year has passed. “
The raised finger had done his job, and we went home relieved and thought; “oh okay. The doctor is probably right. But hey, it’s also very cool to continue trying (so far)”. So, we continued for a year’s time but there was still nothing happening…