On paper, we are a couple in our early 30s who has it all. We have good jobs, a nice 250 m² house with a children’s section, two cars, a loving family, and many good friends.
Erik became a branch director in a bank just before he turned 30. I am a trained journalist and work as a live reporter. In the winter of 2018, I spent exploring my first chef position in the production industry.
The many years of education and hard work have seriously kicked off our careers. Along the way, we have been each other’s favorite sparring partners, best friends, and intimately — well, let’s just say it has never failed — at least not before the fertility treatment journey began.
How We Met
We met each other at a local club in Vordingborg eight years ago. Erik tried a little half-heartedly to sell his body to the highest bidder before the transfer window closed a little before five in the morning. His compelling pout did not impress at that time — but there was something about him anyway. So, therefore, he got a counteroffer to invite me on a real date.
Subsequently, one thing led to another. We moved together in Copenhagen in 2013, worked, finished our education, broke up, and reunited — a couple of times. (Many times, if you ask our friends.)
The Proposal and Wedding
One day in 2016, Erik surprised me with the most beautiful ring and perhaps the craziest proposal in history. He went to his knees a little before five — though in the afternoon — on the same dance floor where he got his first rejection. It was wacky and absolutely perfect at the same time, and this time he was bought on the spot.
In 2017, we held our dream wedding with 90 of our best family members and friends. So the frames were in place. We had surrounded ourselves with good people and everything needed for the next chapter: children.
But like all good fairy tales, there are many twists and turns before the happy ending.
The Start of Our Baby Journey
We had actually started the baby project when I got off birth control pills in 2015. But nothing happened for months. There was plenty of sex — and really good sex. The happiness in the bedroom is basically when you trust each other so much that you dare to completely be yourself. And we dare to do that.
Therefore, it was also a big disappointment when half a year of fantastic sex had gone by without resulting in a pregnancy.
Seeking Help
After six months of actively trying to conceive but without success, we went to see a professional. The doctor told us, “Typically career people. You decide that now you want to be pregnant because it fits into your calendar. And then you come running here when you have not become pregnant within the first few months. But this is not the way things work. You cannot plan a child. Go back home and try, and then come back when at least a year has passed.”
The raised finger had done its job, and we went home relieved and thought, “Oh okay, the doctor is probably right. But hey, it’s also very cool to continue trying (so far).”
So, we continued for a year’s time — but there was still nothing happening…
Watch Our Story
Click to see more on Erik & Phillippa
You have not enough Humanizer words left. Upgrade your Surfer plan.
