Katharina was in her mid-thirties when she decided to fulfil her dream of having children. Single at the time, she had no idea about the concept of becoming a single mother by choice.
“There was no word for this family model in German-speaking countries,” she explains. However, she knew she didn’t want to put her dream of motherhood on hold simply because she didn’t have a partner.
“One day, a friend came back from her fertility clinic and suggested that I go there because they were now treating single women,” Katharina recalls. “I scheduled an appointment, and conception actually happened very quickly—I got pregnant after the second try. Today my child is three years old.”
Navigating a New Path
While getting pregnant happened swiftly for Katharina, the process itself was far from simple. This route to motherhood involves many emotional and practical considerations—before, during, and after pregnancy.
“I had a lot of questions before I got pregnant and again after, but I struggled to find people who had answers for me,” she says.
“I visited several counselling centres, but they sent me away saying they had no knowledge of this kind of situation. Even my fertility doctor couldn’t connect me with other solo mothers. Sometimes I thought, ‘If everyone is sending me away and no one knows about it, is this something I should be doing?’ But fortunately, I had friends who helped me reflect and see the positives.”
The Power of Counselling
Experiencing this lack of support inspired Katharina to create her own counselling business, offering guidance to solo mothers-to-be and women considering solo parenting.
“Psycho-social counselling is very important for everyone involved in sperm donation—and not just because many fertility clinics require it,” she explains.
“This kind of counselling isn’t about assessing whether you’d be a good parent. It’s about reflecting on your motivations, preparing for challenges, and developing resilience for the journey ahead.”
Emotional and Societal Hurdles
Many women Katharina supports need to confront internalized ideas about motherhood and family.
“Accepting an external sperm donation is a very complex topic,” she says. “You have to think about how you’ll educate the child, how you’ll handle other people’s reactions, half-siblings, and the role of the donor. Most importantly, you need to consider the child’s perspective in addition to your desire to have a baby.”
Katharina emphasizes that being fully committed to this path is essential: “It’s not a good idea to go down this route if you’re not 100% on board.”
The taboo around single parenting and donor conception also remains a challenge. “There are still a lot of people with very traditional, heteronormative family models in their heads,” she says. “Counselling helps you strengthen your mindset so you can face these prejudices with confidence.”
Finding the Right Donor
Women pursuing solo motherhood also face unique logistical decisions—from financial planning and childcare to explaining the family structure to their child.
But one of the first and biggest decisions is choosing how to conceive. There are several different options for finding a sperm donor, and Katharina helps women navigate this part of the process.
Clarifying the Donor’s Role
“First, you must clarify the donor’s role: is he a sperm donor, a co-parent, or something in between?” Katharina advises. “Establish clear agreements before conceiving with someone you aren’t in a relationship with—no matter how close you are.”
Some women prefer using a private donor to ensure the child can know their biological father. “Many like the idea that a person can be contacted and known, which feels more personal than a sperm bank,” she says.
Similarly, co-parenting arrangements—where two people agree to raise a child together without being a couple—can create unique but loving family structures.
However, Katharina warns that private arrangements come with risks. “I’ve heard of women being pressured into sex or discovering later that their donor fathered hundreds of children without telling them. These situations can get complicated.”
Protecting Your Rights
Legal protection is another reason Katharina advises caution with private donations.
“I’ve heard many stories where needs changed after the birth—fathers suddenly wanted to claim paternity or rights, leading to critical situations,” she says.
For this reason, she encourages using donor sperm from a licensed clinic.
“When you go through a clinic, you know the sperm is safe, tested for STIs, and of verified quality,” Katharina explains. “You’ll also know the legal limits on how many children can be conceived with one donor’s sperm.”
The Changing Landscape of Anonymity
Anonymity once discouraged some women from using sperm banks, but recent legal reforms are reshaping that.
“The Sperm Donor Register Act, implemented in 2018, has made women feel more positive about using donor sperm,” Katharina says.
“This law ensures the donor’s details are securely stored and accessible to donor-conceived children when they turn 16. It also protects donors from being legally recognized as fathers. This change has encouraged more clinics to support single mothers and more men to donate sperm.”
Happy Moms = Happy Children
The journey of solo motherhood can be challenging, but it’s also incredibly fulfilling. For Katharina, the key to happiness has been support from family and community.
“Fortunately, my family helped me through all my doubts and worries,” she says. “I was afraid of judgment, but my friends told me, ‘You’re brave and we support you.’ I’m so grateful for that.”
Meeting other solo mothers also brought immense comfort. “It was amazing to finally meet people who understood my experience,” she says. “That’s why I now organize community meetings—so no solo mother feels alone.”
Ultimately, Katharina believes that children of single mothers conceived via sperm donation can thrive in loving, open households.
She points to inspiring examples like Emma Grønbæk—‘Donor Child’—who advocates for donor-conceived individuals and their families.
“The fact that children of solo mothers grow up healthy and happy has helped shift perceptions,” Katharina says. “Openness, early education, and honesty about their origins are key. When a child grows up in a safe, loving environment, that’s what truly matters.”
